


I Heard The News Today (Oh, Boy)

by SaraJaye



Series: Shadowed Prisms: The Cindered Shadows AUs [7]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Banter, CSAU3, Gen, Gossip, Multi, NPCs ship things, Rumors, Worldbuilding, mention of poisoning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-17 15:07:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29594616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaraJaye/pseuds/SaraJaye
Summary: The public is too quick to take rumors and speculation at face value. For most people, this is a curse. For Garreg Mach, however, this is exactly the sort of entertainment they need during a continent-wide war helmed by a pissed-off Archbishop and their equally pissed-off territories.
Relationships: Hinted Edelgard/F!Byleth/Hubert, Mentioned Dimitri/Dedue/Marianne
Series: Shadowed Prisms: The Cindered Shadows AUs [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1835785
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	I Heard The News Today (Oh, Boy)

"Did you hear? The Kingdom and the Alliance are marching towards the Empire today!"

"Truly? Does this mean Duke Riegan and His Highness finally planned their revenge against that nasty Emperor?"

"I heard she attacked the Duke at Gronder Field, and it was the King who rescued him!"

"Oh, how _romantic!_ "

Rebecca Greenwood smiled as she listened to the chatter of her neighbors. Such a rumor had been going on for quite a while now, ever since Lady Rhea disappeared and the territories dissolved into fighting; Rebecca counted her blessings every day that Morfis was virtually untouched by these horrors. She knew enough stories of wars past to be grateful that her family was still alive, that her children weren't being ripped from her home to become expendable soldiers, that she and her husband didn't have to pay ridiculous taxes just to exist or else the nobles would do unspeakable things to them. The worst that could happen was a bit of mysterious food poisoning now and then.

Being as far away from Fodlan as they were, news traveled slowly to Morfis. Some relied on it to know whether or not to worry that Morfis _would_ be swept up in the chaos, but most people treated it as everyday gossip. It was happening thousands of miles away, why should they worry? To them, each scrap of news that floated towards them was better than the opera, or a romantic novel.

"Do you suppose they'll marry?" the first woman asked. Her friend raised an eyebrow.

"Now why would you say that? The King and the Duke can become good friends, of course, having a common enemy, but...well, they're both _men!_ "

"True, and the Kingdom _is_ quite...how to put this, _fixated_ on marriages between men and women to produce Crested heirs," the first woman sighed. "Tragic, isn't it? So much repression of feelings and desire, all for the sake of keeping bloodlines pure and upholding the ideas of chivalry." Rebecca rolled her eyes.

"It always comes back to that, doesn't it, Jane?"

"It's _true!_ " Jane said, taking a sip of her tea.

"Well, I have a distant relative in the Empire who says _those_ monsters are even more obsessed with Crests," Rebecca said. "The Emperor herself was born because her father sired a dozen children before her and none of them bore a Crest. She was named heir, and the others were forgotten about in short order."

"What are you talking about?" the second woman asked. "The Emperor is an only child. I've got family in the Empire, and Ionius the Ninth only had one daughter with the fifth woman he married. All of his other wives died before they could give him children, and he himself, well..." She shook her head. "The girl is said to have suffered a horrific trauma that led to delusions of things that never were."

Jane and Rebecca exchanged a look. Deborah had no contacts outside of Morfis and everyone knew it.

"I think you need to give those thriller novels a rest," Jane said.

"Can we please return to the subject?" their friend Carin asked. "I for one think it's wonderful that the Alliance and the Kingdom will finally be as one again."

" _If_ the Alliance leader isn't up to his dirty tricks," Rebecca sighed. "For all we know he's planning to poison King Dimitri to death and take over the whole operation himself!"

"Duke Riegan would never! If he did, it was because of those strange, emotionless twins Lady Rhea hired," Carin insisted. "How do we know _they_ didn't influence all of this, so they could remove all three leaders and take over Fodlan themselves?"

"Ohhhhh!" The quartet gasped. None of them noticed the young girl outside their house scribbling away in her leatherbound journal.

The following morning at Garreg Mach, Hubert stabled his horse and strode into the Cardinal Room, where the Eisner twins and the four House Leaders sat playing cards. Every week he stopped at the outskirts to find out what stupid gossip was floating around outside of Fodlan courtesy of Fleche. The girl was incredibly thorough in her note-taking and had a surprise affinity for flight that even her brother didn't know about.

This week's report had proven quite amusing. If he found out people were busy spreading nasty lies about Lady Edelgard, he would give Fleche a bit of mild poison (courtesy of Claude). This week, he wouldn't need any.

"I think Claude and Dimitri will be happy to know that they're apparently engaged to be married now, Faerghus's homophobic culture be damned," he said as he opened the door. Dimitri spat out his tea, and Claude nearly dropped the cards he was shuffling.

"We are? Dimitri, why didn't you tell me we were in love?" he teased. Dimitri gave him a dirty look, wiping his mouth.

"As though I'd leave Marianne and Dedue for _you._ " Edelgard and Blythe snickered.

"Is this before or after I supposedly tied up Dimitri and told him in loving detail how my nine-year-old self slaughtered his family and friends at Duscur, and then threatened to have Dedue killed unless he surrendered the Kingdom to me?" Edelgard asked.

"Wait, did _that_ happen before or after Randahl stormed into Rhea's office before the war demanding she either tell all her secrets or he'd tell everyone himself?" Yuri added. The aforementioned Randahl walked into the room with a tray of donuts, which Edelgard and Yuri promptly pounced on.

"As much as I want Aunt Rhea to spill it all, that's _her_ job," he said. "I take it Fleche is back?"

"She returned last night," Hubert confirmed. "But I let her rest up a bit before I went to claim her report." Blythe snickered.

"Careful, Hubert, you don't want people thinking you're going soft."

"That's reserved for you and Her Majesty," Claude said, forgetting about the cards and grabbing a donut. "Good, you got the messy ones. It's nice to eat these without Lorenz bitching about my table manners!"

"Trouble in paradise?" Randahl teased.

"No more than usual!"

"So tell us more, Hubert," Dimitri said, trying to hide a smile. "Did Claude propose to me after receiving a shovel talk from Dedue, or did he have to fight Felix for my hand?"

"Both, actually," Hubert said, and the group settled in for another installment of what the monastery collectively termed _Days Of Our Idiots._


End file.
